Having It All

I was raised by a feminist mother in the height of the 60’s.  I am not ashamed to declare that I am a feminist as well.  There were many issues that were fought for and won during those years.  These are issues that women take for granted today.  But, I think we were sold a bill of goods when we were told that women could have it all

Maybe we can have it all…but we can’t do it all well.  I was a career woman for almost 40 years.  And, during that time I was also a wife and mother of two.  Initially I worked because I was a single mother.  But, when I remarried, I worked because the family needed both of our incomes.  I also worked because I wasn’t a ‘stay-at-home’ wife and mother by nature.  I would have gone bonkers being a homemaker.  I am creative but not domestic.  And, I truly respect women who spend their days caring for their family.

I also am married to the most amazing man ever!!  In our entire 35 years of marriage, he has done the cooking 99.99% of the time.  It’s not that I’m incapable of cooking, I just don’t have imagination in the kitchen.  He is also a neat freak and doesn’t have any problem cleaning, mopping, doing laundry…you name it!!  So, unlike many women who work outside the home, I wasn’t responsible for maintaining the household alone.  I am totally fortunate that we were partners in that.

But even with a spouse who more than contributed his fair share to maintaining our home, there was no way I could put my career on the front burner.  It couldn’t be my primary focus without my family suffering.  I avoided actively pursuing opportunities for advancement because it meant longer hours, frequent travel, and less time with family.  I chose positions which allowed me the flexibility of attending chapel programs and musical performances, ball games, or simply being close by if a child became sick at school.

And because I worked, I was never a room mother or even the mother than baked goodies for the class or for the PTA bake sale.  If I brought baked goods, you can bet they were something I bought at the local supermarket.  I wasn’t absent…I just didn’t have the time to do those additional things or to be there to assist the teachers during their day.  It was all I could do to get home and see that homework was completed before kids were bathed and put to bed.  I thank God that I didn’t have to prepare dinner on top of it all.

We were told that ‘quality’ was better than ‘quantity’, but who had time for quality time when you were just getting through each day.

Oh, our kids had outside activities…like drama and band.  It seemed like those things took up whatever spare time there was left in the week.  Luckily our children didn’t have lots of additional interests as so many kids seem to have today.  How do people do it?

My point is that while I was able to be a wife, mother, AND career woman, I wasn’t able to devote all my time to any of those roles.  I did an adequate job, but I hardly excelled at anything.  Isn’t that the way it is with most of us?  And, as much as I love Pinterest, how many of us are able to do every idea that we’ve pinned?  Certainly not me?

So, rather than trying to have it all, I would like to encourage you to figure out that one thing that you DO best of all.  And, don’t worry about the rest.


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